Sunday, November 20, 2005
haha my blog is as gd as dead. nv really felt the urge to blog for a long time. am blogging now simply cos i'm bored n started reading my frens' blogs, den felt lyk updating ba :)
the past few wks have been hell! studying for exams, feeling stressed n sad over other things. but it's all come to a nice ending. hopefully i do okay enuf for my exams n dun da bao anything, den my life wld b just abt great.
after all dis while, i'v come to realised some things. it's most impt to just b happy! relationships dun last 4eva, but frenship does. suddenly feel v appreciative of my frens, esp ry, yq, py, hy, zq, pei n my shifu too.. for most of listed 7, 5 of them hav always been there for me no matter wad. i noe i can always count on them to b there for me, n as for the 2 new additions, haha it's just a coincidence dat they happened to b online at the right time for me to talk to, which i'm v grateful for. 1 can nv b unwelcoming of more gd frens!
many thing r out of our control ba, but it's impt to face reality esp when problems start bubbling up. i'm glad i managed to come to terms with some things n did the right thing (thanks to the courage given to me by py at the critical moment), altho it does feel v weird n unnatural to not feel sad. in fact, i even feel kinda guilty abt it.
something was said in the process dat hurt me q alot. but at the same time, i was enlightened by the very same sentence. i'v always loved confrontations of any sort. makes me feel knowing n in control of wad's really going on. i guess it was wad made the difference b4 n after, cos after dat the sadness n feelings just faded away quickly n was replaced by indifference n surprising calmness. yday nite i had the best nite's slp since the start of the month.
suddenly rem watching a keanu reeves movie called Sweet November. nov hasnt been all dat sweet for me up til the 19th. but at least i noe the remaining 11 days can only get sweeter :) zq's right. i'm really a different person now. n it really does feels gd to b in full control.
random thoughts at 6:19:00 AM
